I guarantee that 110% of the time I’m a mess. I look a mess and emotionally I am a mess. I don’t like people and I mean I really don’t there are very few people I get on with or even understand. The irony is that I’m terrified of being alone but I can’t let anyone get close because I can’t trust anyone at least not really and not fully. I regret ever trusting people or letting anyone in. I push people away when they know me because I can never understand why they accept me or why they are here. I desperately crave love but the inevitability is a relationship or anything wont last due to me and my destruction. The thing is I’m so confused all the time; I don’t know who I am, I don’t know where I am going and I just feel like I won’t get anywhere that I’m just destined to screw up. Im so lonely. I have friends but that doesn’t get rid of the ache and this growing bitter sting of emptiness its always there deep down inside of me and I just want to understand why I feel this way.